This upcoming Sunday, Coach Ricardo and I are heading down to Harvard University to watch one of our long-time alumni, Daniel Milavsky compete in his last home match representing the school as he prepares to put on hold a very interesting job offer in the “real world” to give professional tennis a true chance once he graduates in May.
Emotions and thoughts come fast as Sunday approaches because we have been a part of Daniel’s life for almost fifteen years. All these years have provided all sorts of stages. It is important to establish that our first THREE years, Daniel was simply a decent but passionate boy traveling three or four days per week from Needham to Manchester to participate in groups and individual sessions. During these early years, we had to go through grip changes that forced us to slow things down; we went through a creation of standards of effort because while Dani loved the game, he didn’t always understand what true engagement looked like; and we went through difficult times helping him understand how to focus on himself and ignore the noise that is made by wanting to be like the good kids in the 12s and 14s.
The second stage of our partnership started when he started to show signs that his ball speed could put the better kids on defense. I remember watching him play and lose a back draw match at 14s Sectionals and saying to him at the end that in a year time, they wouldn’t be able to keep up with him. He reminded me of that conversation a year later as he was preparing to go play the biggest national tournament of the year at Kalamazoo. This ball speed thing was followed with a big growth spurt that automatically affected his serve positively and made him even harder to play against. The interesting part is that this “being a good player” stage was also the most difficult one. The teenage attitude also kicked in, and he had a hard time controlling his emotions during practice and matches. He once told a college coach that was trying to recruit him that after we had kicked him out of practice a number of times because of a pour attitude or a big mouth, he realized that he was better off keeping the bad words inside his head and trying to listen, and that this had a weirdly miraculous effect on the quality of his practices and then on his match play results. It is important to realize that for us coaches to send a kid home in the middle of practice is very hard because we are in the business of improvement and growth, and doing this seems like we are somehow giving up, but I have learned to understand that it is an action that is simply part of many that are necessary to build those standards and parameters where effort and engagement need to be during training. In some ways, I personally wish that my coach had been a little harder on me on certain occasions because I know now what is on the other side of those moments once the lessons are learned.
And the last stage of this relationship has been the last five years while Daniel has been in school. These past five years, we have become nothing but “friends” , mentors, and occasional cheerleaders for him. We can only imagine how hard it has been for him to deal with the academic and athletic stress of such competitive school provides on top of everything else that life has thrown to him, and we are nothing but proud to be able to share that last home match with him this weekend.
At the same time that all of this comes to mind, it is very clear that the real joy is NOT the destination. This Sunday is going to come and go!!!!! the real joy is in the ability to slow down, appreciate the growth that has taken place, all the little moments along the way, and remember that since we always talk to the kids about being in the present moment, it is our responsibility to practice what we preach and continue trying to embrace each day, each struggle, each lesson learned and each small victory. At the end of the day, we live for the process because if we did not, we would not be able to handle the bumps on the road.
